Value your children and feel empowerment based on the little things they say. So many times we think kids don’t know what they are talking about- when really they are very intuitive and are the light that we have forgotten in our own lives. Listen to them. Be appreciative. Be empowered by the present moment in what they say and do. Be in tune with them. they are very connected with their inner spirit and will remind us to be our true self. I am so bless and grateful to have Drew and Serena in my life. Funny how I had envisioned them and had their names picked out and have invited the souls that match their names many years before they arrived. They are my greatest little teachers. They are caring, loving and very connected with their higher self. I would like to share the wisdoms they have taught me so far in just a few years. I look forward to learn from them in years to come.
You are in my heart
When Drew was about 4 years of age, he used to cry when I would leave for work. I would try to distract him by giving him a toy or a treat and dash out of the door. As soon as he realized that I was leaving, he would run after me and cry. My heart would ache when I’d see his eyes filled with tears as my husband held him back. I would feel so guilty and could hear him in my head when I would be at work seeing a patient.
One day, I decided to try a different method to keep him from having this very normal separation anxiety. Instead of the same routine of distracting him with a toy or with food, I decided to talk to him. I kneeled down and said to him, “Drew, you can see Mommy in front of you right?” He nodded. “If you close your eyes, do you see mommy in your head?” He nodded. “If you see mommy with your eyes closes, where do you feel Mommy?” He said, “In my heart.” “So, if Mommy is not here, you can close your eyes and see Mommy. If you can feel Mommy in your heart, Mommy will always be with you.” I continued, “One day when you have your own children, you will do a lot of things Mommy taught you and you will say, I am just like my mother. I will never leave you because I will always be in your heart. So you don’t need to feel sad ok?” He nodded “ok Mommy.” He then gave me a hug.
By the time the first day of second grade rolled around, I was walking him to class. He said. “Hey mom, I know you won’t be with me at school but you will always be in my heart; but I will miss you anyway!” Separation anxiety is a childhood issue. Be patient. Talk to them and teach them. Will be amaze what they remember!
Perfect two, not terrible two.
I was rushing out the door already running late for work one day and Serena was about 2 years of age at that time stopped me wanted watermelon. I open the fridge and there was one lone piece of watermelon surrounded by honey dew melon. The last piece of watermelon looked so juicy and thirst quenching that I decided I wanted it. So, I gave my daughter a piece of honey dew instead and kept the last piece of watermelon for myself. She spat at me and gave me a huge stain on my newly pressed white shirt. I became angry and raised my voice, “Serena! You are a bad girl! Look what you’ve done!” I thought to myself, here we are now in the stage of terrible twos.
However, the scene kept replaying in my head and my parenting skills questioned by my own conscience.I tried to view the situation from her perspective. This is one thing that many parents don’t do. She tells me what she wanted, I gave her what she did not want, she acts out and I am reprimanding her. Is that fair? Press the fast forward button to the future, where she may have a hang up on feeling bad for what she wants and will not pursue what she wants and will not know why she feels this way. I hugged her for teaching me and gave her the last piece of watermelon that she originally wanted.
Get more sleep: Beauty sleep
One afternoon, Chris and I were sitting with Serena watching her playing with her little Petshop toys. Chris asked, “Serena, you are so beautiful! Where did you get your beauty from, your Mommy or me?” She looked at both of us and said “Silly, I did not get it from any of you. I got it from sleep duh? Get it? Beauty sleep?” Oh the things she says never cease to amaze me.
Love is a boomerang
Serena: “I love you Mommy.”
Me: “Why do you love me?” I asked?
Serena: “Because you love me back.”
Inner child wisdom
One morning I asked Serena, “What do you want for breakfast?” She said, “Not right now mommy. My tummy is not begging for food.” I was flabbergasted with her wise response that I need to learn more from her by listening to the wisdom of my body.
We are a product of our environment, but we can stop the cycle.
When I was about 5 years of age. I remember sitting at the dinner table and my dad would tell me, “Finish your plate! Do you know how many people who are hungry in China? You cannot be excused from this table until you eat everything on your plate.” He also continued to threaten me by saying, “You can’t have dessert if you don’t finish your food!”
I used to ask myself, “Where is China? I have never been there. If there are so many people who are hungry there, maybe I could send the rest of my plate to China. Oh wait! Who do I send it to? Will the food be rotten before it gets there? I used to also think, Oh I wish I had a doggy, so I could sneak it under the table and feed it to him. But I ate it all.
As I got older and experienced this same frustration with my own children, the same talk of “Finish your plate!” “But Mom, my tummy says I am full. Do you still want me to eat another bite?” It was a rude awakening. People used to tell me I am just like my father and I would deny every bit of it. OMG! I am just like my father! I have downloaded what he said and he is in my subconscious. I realized I was now trying to program my son the same way! Monkey see, monkey do. It is no wonder society has an eating problem! The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree unless it starts to roll away from the tree to be different.
I decided to reprogram my brain that day and told Drew he did not have to finish his plate if he is not hungry. Drew is my best teacher! I said to Drew, “No honey, you don’t have to eat another bite if you are full.” I looked at the left over and used to eat them because I was also taught not to waste foods. I told myself I don’t need to eat that. I grab the garbage can and threw the food in the garbage said, “Here is China” instead of swallowing the food as if I were China. I no longer eat unconsciously thinking that I would waste food and don’t have a weight issue.
Oh yes, we can be like children again and listen to what we want and what we don’t want. Parents have intentions to guide us on our unknown journey through life, however, along the way many times they suppress our emotions without realizing it. Their parents did it to them. History can repeat itself unless we become aware and stop the cycle.
Innate Entrepreneur; Bound and determined!
Drew was about 7 years old. He wanted me to buy him a pair of gloves. I told him that he would have to wait until payday. He said, “Well, I will just have to go make some money right now!”
He marched to the kitchen and proceeded to look for a cooler, some lemonade mix, a pitcher, and ice. He asked Chris to help him make lemonade stand sign .25 cents a cup. He got a mini table and chair set up a lemonade stand. Next door were some construction workers fixing up the neighbor’s house? He approached them and said, “Hi! It’s hot out here. You guys look like you are thirsty. How about some lemonade? It’s only .25 cents a cup. So he got some customers.
A few minutes later, there were some girls in the neighborhood who came to buy some lemonade from him. He gave them a wink. Shortly after he finished selling lemonade, the door bell rang and it was the same girls who bought lemonade earlier, only this time, they brought 2 more friends. They said the lemonade tastes so good they came back for more and they brought 2 more customers! Plus, they wanted to see Drew because he was so cute! So Drew went to the kitchen and made them each a cup of lemonade. He said to them that he would give them a discount since they brought more customers. One of the girls gave him the money and told him to keep the chain. They giggle innocently and left! Wow! I am confident that some day, Drew will be a business man! So cute!
Let kids be kids!
One day Drew was acting rowdy. Serena (5 years old) said to Chris, “Oh dad, give him a break! He’s only 8!”
Where did she hear this from?
Listen to your kids more. They have the simple perspective that is always the innocent truth.
What to wear? I was getting ready for a neighbor’s birthday party. I was having a fashion melt down. What to wear? What to wear?
Out of nowhere, Serena said, “Mom, just wear anything that is comfortable. They will love you anyway!” I stopped and stared at her with amazement. It is the truth. I hugged her and said, “Thank you love, you are wiser beyond your years!” Listen to your kids more. They have the simple perspective that is always the innocent truth.
Drew to the rescue
One afternoon, we went out for a midday jog. I tripped over an uneven pavement and fell flat on my face, scrapped my hand, had road rash on my chest, abdomen and knee. Drew looked down at me with concern, “Oh my gosh mom, are you ok?” He order Chris, “Dad, you go with Serena and get the car. I will stay here with mom.” He looked back at me and said, “Oh, I wish I would have fallen down instead of you!” He gave me an instant shot of anesthesia. For a moment, I felt no pain. Love him!