Don’t be a martyr! You can die early!

 

Woman dies at 52 years of age. Her eulogy said that she was such a great mom. She took great care of her children. She was a great wife and was a wonderful daughter for her parents. She was a great oldest sister. She kept her houses meticulous. She was always there for her friends. She was always there to lend a hand. She was selfless and always put others first.

Well, it is no wonder that she died at 52! They did not mention that she was taking care of everybody else but never made time for her. The eulogy should include, “Please don’t be like me, a martyr and take care of yourself while you are taking care of others! You won’t live your life being depressed in silence and die early! If mama’s not happy, ain’t nobody is happy! ”

Mother’s day is in a week. If you are a mother, I hope this story will spark a cord inside you to take actions on taking better care of yourself as you take care of others. You’d be glad you did! Please share it as a gift to anyone you know who could benefit from this story. You may just help improve their quality of life! Like this story.  Share your story or comment below.

Are you stress? You may be an enabler!

 

I took care of a patient who came in complaining she is stress because she is not sleeping well. When I asked her what is making her stress. She said she is working 2 jobs to make ends meet. I commented that she must have a lot of bills to pay. She replied, “I am not only paying for myself but I am supporting my daughter and her husband who recently moved in with me and they are both unemployed.” I asked how old is her daughter. She said,“27 and the son-in-law is 30 years old!” I was surprised and said “Really? How long are you planning on doing this?” She replied, “I don’t know but I am tired.” I quickly advised her to give her daughter and Son-in-law a date to find jobs and move out. I reinforced that although she thinks she is trying to help all the while being an enabler for them to take advantage of her.

Setting healthy boundaries without feeling guilty is something she needs to practice for stress management. I encourage her to be firm with this matter or else she will continue to let them take advantage of her. She agreed and will start practicing healthy boundaries.

If you are a mom or a care provider, I hope this story will shed some light and help you set limits and healthy boundaries so you won’t be leached.  It is one thing to love someone but not allowing them to take advantage of you!.  Please share this with someone who you know  is going through the same issue.  You just may help them change for the better.  Feel free to share your story below.