I took care of a patient who came in complaining she is stress because she is not sleeping well. When I asked her what is making her stress. She said she is working 2 jobs to make ends meet. I commented that she must have a lot of bills to pay. She replied, “I am not only paying for myself but I am supporting my daughter and her husband who recently moved in with me and they are both unemployed.” I asked how old is her daughter. She said,“27 and the son-in-law is 30 years old!” I was surprised and said “Really? How long are you planning on doing this?” She replied, “I don’t know but I am tired.” I quickly advised her to give her daughter and Son-in-law a date to find jobs and move out. I reinforced that although she thinks she is trying to help all the while being an enabler for them to take advantage of her.
Setting healthy boundaries without feeling guilty is something she needs to practice for stress management. I encourage her to be firm with this matter or else she will continue to let them take advantage of her. She agreed and will start practicing healthy boundaries.
If you are a mom or a care provider, I hope this story will shed some light and help you set limits and healthy boundaries so you won’t be leached. It is one thing to love someone but not allowing them to take advantage of you!. Please share this with someone who you know is going through the same issue. You just may help them change for the better. Feel free to share your story below.